Karmageddon 3
Karmageddon 3 Karmageddon 3 is the most recent (at the time of writing) in the series of Karmageddon meets, intended to be massive gatherings of Joinees in central London, and involving mass-RAoKing as well as a lot of meeting up with friends and making new ones, and quite a bit of drinking. K3 took place on 3rd December 2005 (this being the traditional month for a Karmageddon, but not neccessarily for a semi-Karmageddon such as K2.5 or K2.5.5!) It was organised by Gold Joinee Sir Knight. Events The basic plan devised for the meet was: 1pm: Meeting in Golden Square, London (just as we did at K2.5.) Some time soon after: Some form of en masse march, handing out gifts and cards and generally nice tat to strangers. After that: Retreating to the Midas Touch for lots of drinking, charity events - Art Auction, Slave Auction, Games, &c. - drinking and generally being joinees (i.e. more drinking). Charity The charity benefitting from the day was inspired by Gold Joinee Cazz who had recently succumbed to Leukemia. Rumours It was rumoured that The Leader might make an appearance. This rumour turned out to be true! Personal testimonies Silver Joinee Phillips It was not so much a curtain that came down to end K3 for me at about 6am on Sunday, as Bonathan pulling down Bee’s pants whilst I was talking to him. Even though I got to see the ‘full set’, meaning the night ended on... well I suppose you could call it a damp squib - what a day. What. A. Day. Thing is, there have been so many great Join Me days over the years, we often forget how lucky we are that three or four times a year we all get to meet up, have a drink and a laugh and have another Best Time Ever. This time of course things were different; losing Cazz last month meant we had lost one of our very brightest stars. It was only right and fitting that K3 should be dedicated to her honour (which almost certainly would have embarrassed her.) As ever with Joinees, give them a start time and they will start arriving well before that just because being there gives them a buzz and as such, well before the 1pm official start time the crowds were gathering in Golden Square for its 2nd official JM event following 2004’s Join Me June. Old friends were greeted, new friends were met and those that travelled to their first meet alone were going through a range of emotions from scared to very scared. With Santa hats, antlers, Michael's red shirt, Kennington’s chauffer outfit (for a job he does not do), Steph, Torty and Mel in their homemade capes and wide-eyed followers, Big Hux in a suit and Tommy Wilkins as himself, a rum bunch formed. With numbers well over a hundred, at 1.30pm the Joinees formed a square and a minutes silence for Cazz began. Impeccably observed, memories of Cazz and her crazy hospital-based tie-sending RAoKs meant that the sadness was mixed with a smile, the way it should be. With Goldy deciding that a megaphone was better than the Rapmaster 2000 as the preferred medium to get the message across the mass, or throng if you will, Joinees moved off in the direction of Piccadilly Circus to await the message that Atkinson (dressed as a Gorilla let it be stated) had arranged to be screened. Taking over the area around the statue of Eros, (according to Aristophanes (Birds) he was born from Erebus and Nyx (Night); in later mythology Eros is the offspring of Aphrodite and Ares), the drizzle began to fall. With eyes looking upwards expectantly Vodaphone let Join Me down and failed to deliver on their promise. A shame BUT you don’t keep Joinees down. Heading off for a circuit of Leicester Square all manner of cards, sweets and presents were handed out to the bemused, the confused and the grateful. The bloke dressed as a robot, the homeless guy, the litter pickers, the copper on his bike were some of the standouts amongst the many Christmas shoppers and tourists caught walking against the tide. There were even reports of non-Joinees entering the spirit of the moment, by returning their presents - still wrapped - to card-offering Joinees further back down the lines! Miserable so-and-sos! As the good deeds rolled, the heavens opened but although Hobo’s spiky hair was now no more the spirits were not dampened. The rain temporarily caused the group to fragment into many smaller ones in search of shelter, food and in most cases a good drink. One bunch happened across a march of 15,000 demonstrating against Global Warming and positioning themselves on a corner of the marchers routes with "Free Hug" signs. Trade was brisk with even Webby getting some action from both marchers and the police. As ever the gravitational pull of the pub can only be resisted by a Joinee for so long (about the length of time it will take you to read this normally) and every new arrival though the doors of the Midas Touch was greeted with a cheer and a smile as the mind registered yet another face who had made it. With Patzlaff coming back from the US just for K3, Brierley coming down on a last minute spur of the moment impulse and missing a good friend's engagement party and Shiny making it in the end from Kingston, there were many tales of amazing journeys, especially Mhairi’s AMAZINGly bad 10 hour bus journey down from Glasgow. As the drink began to flow so the other side of Join Me began to kick in... the malarkey. Whilst Nat wandered around selling raffle tickets and sadly "singing" what can only be described as a Feeder song done in the "club style" through the megaphone, Smith and Atkinson sweated more than was healthy in their costumes and those that had put themselves up for the slave auction began to get nervous. First up though was the art auction. Jess and Smiths' drawings of Whitby, Whitby's poster, Mrs 'Jamin's Christmas Cake, and soon-to-be-Gold Joinee Peck's smurf-style model of Danny were major draws. The words "I may just have made my first fatal error" followed swiftly on from Joinee Rothwell's twenty pound bid for Atkinson's gorilla costume, apparently on the basis that Rothwell is a good 8 inches taller than Atkinson. He then walked around the pub for ten minutes loudly enquiring whether anyone would like "to buy a gorilla costume? Only fifteen quid..." Gold Joinee Sweeney - height approx 4 inches taller than Rothwell - took him up on the offer. Perhaps the heart's just not designed to pump blood to the brain above an altitude of 6 foot. Or maybe it's just colder up there. Abad and Anunciada were also called into action to explain to a group of confused Spanish tourists (who had just bid 5 Euros for a David Hasselhoff toilet seat cover) exactly why there was apparent bedlam going on around them, and why they had just bid real money for a David Hasselhoff toilet seat cover. Hopefully there may be a couple more names for Abad's weekly Iberian Join Me mailout. Then who should arrive but The Leader himself!!! Taking the floor he was greeted with chants of "The moon! The moon!" following his recent appearance on BBC TV's "The Weakest Link". Why one of his many correct answers was not chanted at him instead, your reporter does not know. With Join Me now four years old he thanked Joinees everywhere for carrying on the good work, and for the recent sense of renewed vitality and enthusiasm. With a raising of the glasses (pint variety) he led a toast in honour of Cazz before announcing the largest list of Silverings (with added gender change for Parkin), Goldings (with added Knighting for Knight), and Platinumings (for wise old sage Rufous and saviour of those that work in offices all day long Fowler) yet, and yes, a diamonding for Whitby. A bottle of Moet from an anonymous benefactor in thanks for all he's done for Join Me over the years, reflected everyone's appreciation of the man who would be Leader. That’s when the pace picked up even further as "silly money" was spent on slaves. With Cooke being forced to kiss Danny’s feet and Bonathan being bought in a "revenge for last year"-obsessed Morrow, the slaves were put through their paces. There was even some trading of slaves on the black market and there was talk of some being bought to clean toilets. Both Mhairi and Tim Kennington smashed last year's highest bids, with Tim now officially classed at the luxury-good/status-symbol of choice for the would be slave-owner-about-town. Mhairi on the other hand, was subject to something of a public floatation. With shares now trading at around the five pound mark, expect to see Mhairi plc listed on the FTSE in early 2006... Recabarren's trademark pass the parcel saw the evening out, and resulted in Danny performing a belly-dance for Lincoln, of which she is likely to remind Claire at every available opportunity for the rest of their lives. From then on, Joinees made up their own entertainment. Mhairi missed the bar with her pint, and showered Webby. Apparently lager in the eyes stings a bit, but luckily Jesus was on hand, leaping up with the immortal words "I MUST HEAL HIM!" and proceding to do just that, drying Webby's face with his sleeves, and glasses with his thumbs. Westy's hair was serenaded by Join Me’s very own Crazy Frogs (Le Bonathon and Les Morrow). Stooz popped up with an impression of Bob Carolgees, and more Joinees put bendy straws into their hair to look like Madonna microphones than was strictly healthy. When Plumb was photographed trying put a candy stick up The Leader's behind it was time for Biddle to have one of his trademark passing out for a bit moments. As time was finally called, those that could still speak said their goodbyes to those that could still hear and about twenty hardy souls went to the Borderline to dance the rest of the night away to The Proclaimers. To those that came from miles away, thank you. To those that put people up, thank you. To those that made their debuts, thank you. To those that still keep coming back year after year, thank you. To those that should not have been there but were, thank you. To Sir Knight for organising, thank you. To the rest of you, thank you. You made the day what it was and Cazz would be proud of the RAoKing and drinking. See you again next year! Revisiting the locations Golden Square is conveniently located near Piccadilly Circus tube station. To get there from the major London stations: Note: If you're coming on the Megabus to London (Victoria, Greenline Coach Station) you will arrive at Victoria; the first station in the above list. Follow the signs to the train/tube station from the bus station (a five minute walk at most) and take the directions from Victoria. From Victoria: Take the Victoria Line Northbound one stop to Green Park. Then change for the Piccadilly line Eastbound to Piccadilly Circus (one stop). Get out and find your way there using the map. From London Bridge: Take the Jubilee Line Westbound 2 stops to Waterloo. Change here for the Bakerloo Line Northbound 3 stops to Piccadilly Circus. Follow the map. From Charing Cross: Take the Bakerloo Line Northbound 1 stop to Piccadilly Circus. Or just walk it, lazy! From Waterloo: Take the Bakerloo Line Northbound 3 stops to Piccadilly Circus, then follow the map. From King's Cross/St Pancras: (If from St Pancras, walk to King's Cross tube; it's well signposted). Take the Piccadilly Line Westbound 5 stops to Piccadilly Circus, then use the map. From Euston: Take the Northern Line Via Charing Cross Southbound 3 stops to Leicester Square. If you're feeling very lazy, get the Piccadilly Line Westbound 1 stop to Piccadilly Circus, if not, just walk it (see the map). From Paddington: Take the Bakerloo Line Southbound 6 stops to Piccadilly Circus, then walk it (again, see the map). From Liverpool Street: Take the Central Line Westbound 3 stops to Holborn. Then change for the Piccadilly Line Westbound and take it two stops to Piccadilly Circus, and walk with the map. Category: Join Meet